i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize