Can Purell be used as lube?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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