I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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