And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
