just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
