And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ugly people sure do ruin things
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
