Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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