i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He better not be in your backpack
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm sobbing to NWA
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
