On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
