he wants to bone in the snuggie
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
