he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize