Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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