Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize