Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
