before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
