you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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