I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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