Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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