We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
