There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize