gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
