I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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