That's intense
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize