I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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