roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
