i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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