yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
