if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
