4 words: hood of his car
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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