Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
