chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
