Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize