mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
