I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
