This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
