How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
