The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
