This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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