Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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