We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
