you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
