can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
