Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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