she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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