thus making me awesome and them whores
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
