New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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