Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
