You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
