I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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