Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
