weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
