hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
