Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
