Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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