He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
