some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
