My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
